From the practical to the practically weird
Your baby's been a locavore before it was cool. Outfit your breastfeeding baby in this pro-boob onesie and proudly announce that this is one kid that subscribes to the idea of food that is produced locally, organically and with no artificial colors and flavors added.
Sure, your baby may be a little young to be growing facial hair, but that doesn't mean they can't be sporting a mustache while pacified. Girl or boy. Keep your baby both stylish and quiet at the same time with this mustache pacifier that will make dad or mom jealous.
You could swaddle your little one in that hospital-issued blanket you smuggled home, or you could wrap them like a burrito with this realistic tortilla swaddling blanket. Patterned allover, this swaddle will make your little one look like they just came from Chipotle. Don't forget the guac. Also don't eat your baby.
"Oh, you're expecting, how wonderful? Congratulations! Do you know what you're having?"
"Well we're pretty sure it's going to be human, but our outside bet is that it's a dinosaur!"
If you've ever wanted your t-shirt to answer the most none-of-your-business questions on your behalf, this t-shirt will do that.
Mealtime is the best time for your baby to channel their inner Jackson Pollock and create a masterpiece of creativity. What better place to create it than on this blank canvas that is their bib? What inspired your baby to splash spaghetti sauce down the middle? Why was saliva dribbled into a wet spot which evaporated over time? We may never know. Art historians will be left contemplating this contemporary piece for years to come.
Your baby's a lumberjack and that's okay; he sleeps all night and poops all day. Dress up your little man with this crocheted lumberjack hat and beard set. Guaranteed to keep him warm in the winter months. Also comes in adults sizes.
Attack each page with a barrage of rainbow colors by keeping all your crayons at the ready. This ammo belt holds and includes 24 Crayola crayons (aka the good stuff) to make sure that your little soldier is ready to color at a moments notice.
Does Starfleet Academy have a daycare? Set your faces to stunned when you see your Trekkie-in-training in their very own ST: TNG Starfleet uniform. Snap bottom closures make for easy access to your baby's diaper when they decide to inevitably make their very own captain's log.
Good luck will follow your little one every step of life when they put on this cute little pair of fortune cookie booties. Handmade from fleece in the USA (I hope the irony isn't lost on you), these booties will keep your baby's feet warm all the way up to 12 months. They come packaged in a cute Chinese takeout container box. You can also customize the booties with a special fortune for your baby.
Your baby's first smartphone accessory! With this high tech onesie and attached turtle transmitter, you can use your iOS or Android device to track your baby's sleep quality, sleeping position, temperature, and awake states. You can even set up custom alerts to let you know when any of these things happen.